Tips and Advice to Start Dating Again!
You’re a newly single woman – and you are ready to start dating again. But where to begin? Depending on how long you were in a previous relationship, the harder it may be to pick up the pieces and start over.
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!But if you are ready to find love again, it’s time to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get back to living. To help you get started on the right foot we put together some tips and advice to start dating again!
When we are hurt by someone else, we tend to take too much to heart like the things they said and did. Or maybe you were with someone you love, and suddenly life throws us a curve ball leaving you single.
But with time and by getting involved with others, you can heal from the hurt. Dating can help in bring more into life, especially when you fight the right partner. So with further ado let’s dive into dating again.
It will help you figure out what it is you’re looking for in your partner and the best ways to prepare your heart again for a fulfilling, balanced, and loving relationship.
Know The Purpose for Your Date
Before we dig into dating tips and advice to start dating again, it’s important to take a look at your purpose for doing so.
It’s true that getting involved in the social scene is vital to your emotional and mental well-being. But beware of rebound dating – or being going on a date because you feel obligated.
Avoid jumping into bed with a string of willing partners because it can undermine your long term mental health – not to mention ruin your chances of having a lasting solid relationship in the future.
So examine why you really want to date right now – make sure you’re in a healthy state of mind. It can make the difference between a good start and a bad one. Sure, you feel lonely because of the loss in your life and have a void to fill, but think hard about why you want to get involved with another.
Don’t Make Rash Decisions
You’re most vulnerable after a break up and are apt to make rash decisions based on emotions. This can can lead right into another less than satisfying relationship. So before you start dating ask yourself if there is any chance that you will reconcile with your ex.
Do you even want to? If it’s possible, then this time of dating maybe best for staying involved socially. This will allow you both of you have some time apart to think things over.
On the other hand, if you’ve determined that you need to leave that old relationship behind, dating will expand your horizons and prepare you for other better relationships in the future.
Take a Healthy Approach to Dating Again
A healthy approach to dating is like a smorgasbord. Trying out new relationships is a normal, healthy way to approach meeting your future mate.
You test the waters with those of the opposite sex through casual meetings in the form or coffee dates, dancing, dinner out, movies, walks in the park, etc. There are no commitments – just have a good time getting to know a new person with no expectations beyond that – yet.
Don’t Be Driven by Sex
If sex is the driving force behind dating for some, don’t make this your #1 goal. Just because your date is a hottie on the outside, it doesn’t mean there’s much in common where it really counts.
Unless sex is the goal for both parties then you need to resist the urge to rush into the sack for something you may later regret.
While intimacy and sex is part of a relationship, but it will mean so much more if you two really have more in common than over-stimulated hormones. Solid, lasting relationships rarely begin with casual sex on the first date. So think long and hard about jumping right into bed. There will be time enough for sharing intimacy if it is right for you.
How Soon Should You Wait Before You Start Dating Again
Knowing when to get involved with others while picking yourself up again is probably one of the hardest things to do. But once those initial tears are drying up, it’s time to make yourself get on with life.
This may come easier from some than others, depending on how long you were involved in the old relationship and how serious it was.
Take Time Out For Reassessing Your Life
It’s important to take some time out after the break up and evaluate things a bit and not dash head long after the first sympathetic soul who will listen to your heart cries. Some experts say a month is enough time off from dating. You might need more or less time.
Just know that you need to have this time to think, to calm down and collect yourself. It’s really a good time to get with a close friend – a confidante – and have them as your listening ear.
More than that – they need to be willing to push you out if you need it or put on the brakes if you start to head down the wrong path or move to quickly.
But once you’ve had your time off from socializing, it’s time to jump back into the dating game. The important thing is figure out what works best for you as you start dating again and push forward gradually.
How Often Should You Go On a Date
Do it gradually because you don’t need to wear yourself out dating, either. Set a goal of 1–2 nights a week at first and then see how it goes from there. Going out every night may exhaust you and if dating seems to much like hard work, it may make you wish you were in a relationship again – remember you are looking for a quality relationship.
Let Go of Past Relationship Issues
One thing must be said is your past relationship left you sad, grieving or angry it is best to deal with the past issues and let them go. This way you don’t transfer negative issues over to the next relationships.
Treat each person as you would like to be treated. Seriously, all men aren’t cheaters or jerks – so don’t punish your date for anything another did in the past.
Start each relationship anew. That may be hard – especially if you keep attracting the same kind of girl or guy repeatedly.
Character Traits
If you notice you are attracted to certain character traits make sure they are positive ones. If they are traits that brought misery and failure in the past let them go, even if they seem attractive in the beginning.
It’s something to think about before you launch into a new relationship. Take some time to figure out what it is that you look for in a partner, because you just are looking for a quality relationship that you deserve.
Get Comfortable With Yourself
When you start dating aging, creating a new relationship isn’t as easy as putting on new shoes. The longer you were involved in the last relationship, the more adjustments you may need to make.
Dating again require that you are gentle to yourself. Make notes of what you want in a relationship and what you will not tolerate. It’s also a good opportunity to make any changes about yourself. Do you want to build up your confidence, love your self more… Is there anything that drove a partner away, that you would like not to do in a future relationship.
So, before you make any new deep commitments, take the time to determine just what it was that might have driven your ex away (if that is the case) and how to avoid it again
Simple personality differences
Maybe you just didn’t click. After an initial attraction and time together, you found that you just didn’t make a “good fit.” That’s okay. Maybe he started out as a sympathetic ear, but soon lost interest in your problems.
Insecurities on your part
Maybe you have some annoying qualities that undermine past relationships, that may carry over if you don’t make an effort to change. Relationships are for two people giving and taking. If you’re always taking, then you’ll wear out your welcome.
Whatever it was, now is the time to change those “un-fun” traits and become that kind of person others like to be with. You probably don’t even realize this is a problem, so your close friend can help you see what can be changed.
But let’s not get hung up on those things. Change the things that you can, but don’t dwell on the things that are “you” that the other person just didn’t like. Chances are, he or she was the one with the hang-ups, so leave it in the past.
Remember that you are a one of a kind individual with unique qualities to offer. Don’t let past relationships cloud your chance to find the a new love interest. It may seem cliché, but nobody is perfect. So stop trying so hard. Maybe just being “you” is all you need to do – instead of trying to be a little of everyone else.
Be Real
Don’t be someone that you are no. Be fun loving and don’t be afraid to be different. Be willing to stand out. Someone once said, “Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?” Another step when you start dating again is making easy conversation.
What to Talk About on a Date – Dos and Don’ts of Dating Conversations
Time for some conversation pointers for you newly single men and women. There are some things to keep in mind that will make your date pleasant for both of you:
Don’t bring up your ex
Avoid the urge to rehash all the bad things your ex did to you. Nothing will turn a date off more quickly than a negative person that goes over old dates.
Take Turns to Talk
Don’t dominate the conversation talking about yourself. Touch on a few of your interests, such as hobbies. And make sure you give your date equal time to talk.
Listen and ask questions about the other persons interests.
Ask questions such as:
- what are their favorite books, or movies they enjoy?
- type of foods are their favorites.
- sports are a great topic
- movie… thrillers, sci fi, etc
If religion and politics is really important to a relationship, then talk about it. Maybe not on the very first date, there is no point getting into a strong debate especially if you are not likely to see him or her again. But if its a deal breaker you may as well get it out of the way.
Body Language and Flirting
Let’s not forget the flirt factor. Maybe you don’t think of the following as conversation, but body language is the unspoken language. Think about these:
Eye contact -It’s a fact that the eyes tell it all. If you’re interested in someone, they’ll know your intentions more by how you hold their gaze.
Flirting is an art, of sorts. It isn’t just about “come hither” or “let’s find a room” look, either. Flirting is a way to let someone know you’re interested. Some do it naturally. Laughing at his jokes, holding his gaze a moment longer than average and letting your eyes look away, punching his arm when he teases you – these are just some things you can do to let someone know you like them.
As a matter of fact, some do this so naturally that it may come across as leading someone on when all they meant was to be friendly. Be careful who you “punch” and giggle at!
Dressing for a Date
Do dress to attract. But don’t dress in such a way that gives everything away” either. That’s desperate and won’t attract solid life mates. Dress to look nice. Wear smart casual classic or a nice dress. Something that gives you confidence.
Choose something that you feel comfortable in, and makes you feel confident. Make up and perfume should enhance, not hide your true looks. Nicely styled hair and nails show that you care about yourself. Dress for the occasion.
Dating Doesn’t Equal a Relationship Replacement
Dating should not be considered a replacement for a permanent relationship – it’s non-threatening to both parties. Yes, there will come a time, sooner or later that you either are ready to take it to the next level with some form of commitment or to stop seeing each other.
But dating in and of itself should be kept rather noncommittal. Most likely, the person you’re dating probably won’t consider these dates to constitute a relationship. Keep this in mind since you’re so used to being one part of a couple.
If you look at dating like those sample tables at the grocery store where you get to have a good taste of the product before you invest in an entire package, then you can enjoy this time of meeting others.
The Object of Dating
You are casually looking for your life mate, but you are also establishing healthy social relationships with friends of both sexes. It may take time to find your way in the dating world, but it can be worth it. All you need is to take it slowly and with your eyes open.
Be Honest About Your Intention
Be honest about what your intentions are. Are you seriously looking for a life mate or are you hanging out, not intending to commit right now? Get this out in the beginning so both of you understand one another. Maybe your date is a little gun shy about dating again too.
But if you and they are looking for something permanent, say so. Be upfront about your intentions or you may be setting yourself up for another disaster. Get out there and meet people, start dating again, but go with your eyes open and guard your heart. Keep it light. There will be time enough to make commitments and settle down.
Concluding Tips and Advice to Start Dating Again
Dating is a fun time of meeting new people. Try out a relationship with no expectations or commitments. Use these tips and you’ll be off to a great start dating again.
A serious lifelong relationship starts with two people who enjoy similarities together and the best relationships are based on friendship. Dating lets you find that special friend… and see where it goes from there.