Dating for After Divorce
Divorce is never easy whatever the reason. It’s messy, confusing and its a time to start over? But when the dust settles you think about your future and what you want in life. That may include whether you should start dating after divorce?
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!Dating can be a scary prospect, but many women want to starting dating again, and many find live and better relationships that they ever imagined second time around. If you are a woman considering dating after divorce, we put together tips for dating with confidence. Let’s begin –
Choose What You Want In a Relationship
This is the time when you get to decide what type of relationship you want. Are you looking for a serious relationship. do you want to have companionships to share interests with. Or, maybe you enjoy being single, and want to enjoy dating now that you’re free.
How soon should you wait to start dating after your divorce?
One of the most common questions women ask about dating after divorce is when should you start? Well that kind of depends on whether or not there are kids involved. Kids are a priority and can be sensitive when a parents starts dating again. You want to consider their age, needs and how well adjusted they are.
It’s okay to start dating after your divorce. But, its good to take time, especially if you are newly single and finding out who you are and what you want. Make sure to give yourself time to grieve the loss of your marriage or jump right into the dating scene. Do what is best for you and your well being.
The important thing is that if you want a partner, then don’t wait on the sidelines too long out of fear. There are millions of people just like you who are looking for someone to date.
Are You Ready to Start Dating After Divorce
If you are holding on to anger and holding on to everything your ex ever did. Then its likely you will transfer that on to the person you meet. Find ways to let go of that anger before you hit the dating scene. You want to show your best self, so that you attract a quality partner.
It’s also good to go out with friends, meet new people and build up trust especially if a past relationship was tough to deal with.
Or, you might really miss marriage and want to find someone who you can have that kind of connection with. Whatever choice you make – there are men out there searching for the exact same thing.
What Do You Want in a Partner?
Some couples get a divorce and start dating each other all over again. You sometimes hear about them getting back together and living happily ever after.
It’s possible but not typically the case. Spend some time before you start dating to really figure out what it is you want out of your dates.
If you want to, start with what you didn’t like about your ex! Was he a couch potato and you wanted to see the world? maybe he didn’t crack a smile while you wanted to be silly and fun? Was he buying stuff, when you wanted to be smart with your money?
Narrowing it down this way will help you flip those “dislikes” around and discover what kind of man you do really want.
What Traits Do You to Change When You Start Dating Again
- Appearance – because your ex didn’t care about his
- Sense of Humor – your ex was way too serious
- Financial Security – because your ex blew through money creating debt
- Respect – because your ex didn’t give you any
- Adventurous – your ex preferred a boring life, and you didn’t
Or, if you want to leave your ex out of the equation and just create your own list of “deal breakers” (things you can’t do without), that’s fine, too!
As you grow older, things might have changed about what you want in a man that you date. Maybe before (in your 20s) it was all about looks. Now, in your 40s, or 50’s maybe it’s all about financial security and a sense of humor.
Don’t let other people’s ideal vision of your date influence your decision. Divorce is a heartbreaking event to go through and you want to make sure that this choice is all about you and your needs – not your best friend or parent.
Get Yourself Strong Again
Divorce can leave you feeling so drained – emotionally and even physically. You might have a lower self esteem when you emerge, or maybe you’re the type of person who comes out of it stronger than ever!
Either way, you want to get prepared before you hit the dating scene so that you can find someone who suits your needs. Sometimes we stifle who we are in a marriage.
Maybe your ex was a couch potato, so you were too – when what you really wanted to do was be outdoors and active (and that’s the kind of man you’re looking for now).
Take Care of Yourself
Maybe a past relationship caused you to gain a lot of weight. Now you want to get fit and be your best self. There’s nothing wrong with making an effort to look the way you want to look and feel the way you want to feel.
Experience New Things
Do things you never done, but always wanted to do . Jump into life and put your mental spirit in the game. Don’t be a bystander in the life you want to live, but a participant! This is how the real you will shine, and you will attract people who are drawn to your spark.
If your ex always liked you with long hair, and you want it short – then cut it as you’d like. Wear clothes that make you feel good. Build up your confidence. Remember who you are at your core, the real you.
Get in the Best Shape of Your Life
Dating after divorce is a great time to re discover who you are. I’m not on about physical diet but, mentally, physically and spiritually. If you gained weight out of depression during a tumultuous marriage, then it’s time to get fit again.
Do you feel your spirit is broken, then take time to journal and meditate. This will not only help you start dating after divorce but put you in the right space to live your best life. Do whatever it takes, small steps get big results.
Get a Fresh New Look
Take a look at yourself and see if you let yourself go during the marriage. Get some new clothes, change your hair color, update your make up. Don’t be afraid to make changes to be the woman you want to be.
Where to Find Prospective Dates
Once you decide what it is you want and you’re in a good place where you are feeling strong, powerful and in control. Then its time to begin dating your dating life so you can leave your divorce status behind. This is the time when you can start looking for the right kind of person that you want to date.
In today’s world, it’s okay to approach prospective sates, or set yourself up so that they can approach you. You’ll find more opportunities now that your eyes are open to them.
Meeting men online can have its pros and cons. On the good side, you’re keeping them at a safe distance and able to be picky and “vet” them along the way.
On the other hand, there are many liars out there who might be married, using a phony picture, fibbing about whatever they discuss with you, etc. This isn’t always the case.
There are many wonderful men out there who are looking for a great, honest woman. You have to be 100% honest in your online dating profile and discussions.
Be Honest About Yourself
It’s best practice to be honest about yourself. There is no point in being less than honest about your appearance or interests, etc.? When you are upfront you will set your self up for better success. And, you want to meet someone who is likes the real you.
If you decide to try online dating route, it’s okay to start off free, but much better if you take a paid membership. This way you are able to find a better match up and learn more about them before you begin talking to them.
Matchmaking? Online, Friends, Dating Sites
Many women use matching type services. But it doesn’t have to be professional. Matchmakers can be your best friends or coworkers. However, there are many professional matchmakers. You may have one in your city. This may work well as they work to make the best match with others previously interviewed.
Blind Dates? It doesn’t have to be a “blind date” per se. You can always attend a dinner party of backyard bar-b-q where the others happens to be, too. This is a great way to meet someone, like a friend after a friend and so forth. Friends can introduce you in a relaxing setting and see where it leads!
Do you want to date one person at a time, or play the field a bit and see what all is out there? Either way is okay. You can be honest upfront and let your dates know that you’re dating several people at once – if you want to at all.
Dating After a Divorce Safety Tips
Your date may not be a serial killer, but he might get clingy or pushy. These are two things that a good relationship can do without. If you are new to dating or a woman whose starting to date after divorce, safety is the first thing to keep in mind.
Here are a few safety tips to keep in mind:
- Tell someone where you are going and a time you will be back
- Meet at a public, place, so that you are not alone
- Drive yourself, that way your date won’t know where you live
- Take it easy on the alcohol
- Pick a fun activity in a public place
Your date will understand that you want to stay safe. Pick something fun, like a cooking class, go bowling, have dinner, or anything that is in a public place and one where the two of you will be able to talk and get to know one another!
How Can You End a Date If It’s Not For You
If your date turns out to be everything you don’t want there is no need to feel pressure to continue on. It’s okay to end the date early. There will be other opportunities. Don’t make a phony excuse – he’ll know and it makes everyone uncomfortable.
You can say something like, “I’m glad we got to meet, I don’t feel there’s much of a connection between us, but I appreciate the opportunity to get to know you!”
Concluding Dating for Women After Divorce
Life is too short to live it alone unless it’s by choice. This is a time to make decisions for yourself, and not worry about what your ex will think of the new men that you’re dating.